“I drank so much grape juice I don’t know how I got to bed that night…”

Sinead Brennan met with Mr Chrome

So how are you both?

Mr Chrome: We’re grand but our manager Coco doesn’t tell us things ‘til the last minute, he told us we were coming up here to go to Funderland and then it was a day of doing press and it was crap because we were talking to men all day but then two beautiful women swan in the door.

How did it all get started?

Mr Chrome: He was in the shower one day, and he just thought fuck it, I’m sick sick sick of being a nurse, there must be something else to life so he jumped in his go-cart, came around to my house and was like ‘put this on’ (plastic bag) I have a song about the IRA, lets do this shit.

Blind Boy Boat Club: Then from there we skyrocketed to fame and then like, you see us now doing gigs with Rihanna and Lady GaGa and all that kind of shit.  Setting things on fire too.

MC: We’re on Facebook too, did you see that?  It’s good. We were on Bebo but we moved away.

BB: Too many travellers on Bebo

MC: You can’t say that

What was it like doing the MTV show?

MC: There all a big shower of gas c***s

BB: Gas c***s I swear to god

MC: There was John, he was mad

BB: He was Korean, MTV’s run by Asian people

MC: There was Tom, he had a huge bag of cocaine in his car he didn’t even know about, he’s so rock and roll.  And then dya know, loads of Jews.

BB: Loads of Jews, and we seen tall buildings

MC: We ate food that was too big

BB: I wanted the healthy option so I got muesli and yogurt, or what they consider to be yogurt which is just cream with sugar in it. So that’s how the Americans do their thing

MC: That’s what you call first world problems, you need to get a dose of river blindness into you

BB: I know yeah, I was expecting to get a bit of river blindness in New York

What was Jersey Shore like?

MC: We went over to Jersey Shore and got t-shirts and talked to a load of douche-bags

BB: And they’re called douche-bags over there

MC: It’s what they call each other like

BB:  What up my douche-bag

MC:  How are ya going my douche-bag?  It’s like what black people call each other

BB:  Ya can’t say that

MC: I wasn’t going to

BB: Well say it if you’re going to say it

MC: Fine I’ll say it, like black people call each other my brother

And you’re going to be on Channel 4 soon as well?

MC: We’re doing some gas shit with Channel 4

BB: We filmed three short web episodes, webisodes they’re called, and I think they’re throwing them up on the TV at some point too

MC: It’s a story of two boys called Him and Me and we go along and get up to all sorts of mad shit

BB: That’s what they’ll write on the website too “check this out, its mad shit”

MC: And we’ve songs about black men and little boys

Will there be a new song out soon?

BB: We’re hoping to have a song out very soon

MC: It’s about a disabled bird of prey

A friend of mine was on teacher practice in Moyross and when her class found out her name was Roisin they started singing “I wanna fight your father”

MC: Well maybe her father is just a prick and he was abusive, you can’t blame us straight away, maybe they just did want to fight him

BB: He could’ve done all sorts of things, he could’ve been like ‘here have a sweet’ to a child and it was aspirin

MC: You can’t give aspirin to children

BB: Don’t ever go over to a child with a handful of aspirin because they’ll think it’s a sweet and take it

MC: Then they’ll get thin blood and when they go out to ride their bicycles and scrape their knee, all their blood will just pour out and there’ll be nothing but a pile of skin left.  Have you ever tried to bury a pile of skin?  You’d save a fortune on a coffin because you can just throw it in a shoe box like

Have you been busy getting ready for your gigs?

MC: Nah we’re busy not doing gigs, we live in Portugal now

BB: Yeah we moved to Portugal, it’s where I get the Portuguese bags from

MC: We moved there for tax reasons

BB: And fishing

MC: Tax and fishing and to fuck a load of men

BB: We decided it was the best thing to do. We joined the Free Masons and became f****ts and we just shift each other all the time and go to Free Mason meetings. Then we buy bottles of champagne and smash them off each others heads.  Then we’re going to get a rocket and fire ourselves into the sun.

Are the Portuguese bags better?

BB: Yeah they are better

MC: Because people don’t ask you stupid questions about Spar

BB: Because they cant pronounce the Portuguese shop names

So how’s Portugal treating you?

BB: Portugal’s a great place to live especially if you’re in the Free Masons

MC: And Colm Meaney lives there

BB: No he lives in Malta

MC: Malta’s for cowards, it’s a different ball game altogether, I wouldn’t go to Malta

Why not?

BB: Because it’s full of cowards

MC: It’s where cowards live

BB: I challenged Colm Meaney to a sword fight with French duelling swords and he got his security guard after me

Do you get in many duels?

BB: We’d start the odd few but they’re never finished properly

MC: You start by challenging a man with a sword, then he won’t do it, then he comes back with a sword and then he goes away and you wait ‘til he’s sunbathing over in Malta and you get a length of barbed wire and put a sock on the end of it and you lash him in the back.  Like Christ upon the cross.

Take that Colm Meaney, beam me up Scotty, beam me up onto my fist.  Not up his arse now, his face

BB: That sounded a bit bent

MC: Colm if you’re reading this, I’ll take you out into a field and I’ll have you

What should we expect from your shows?

MC: We’re gonna shoot a lucky member of the audience out of a cannon

BB: Into the rest of the audience and see how many people sue us

MC: We’re going to drug Marty Whelan ‘til he passes out , draw on his back the word rapist in sun tan lotion and put him into a tanning machine for a half an hour and bring him up and wake him up until he’s pink apart from the word rapist on his back

BB: Then send him out onto O’Connell Street, outside the junkie McDonalds, and see what happens

What do you think of being up in Dublin so much?

BB: It’s not as good as Portugal, where we’re from

MC: I’ll tell you about Dublin now, the problem is, it’s full of c***s, they’re not necessarily from Dublin but there’s a lot of c***s up here

BB: Most of the c***s that live in Dublin aren’t actually from Dublin, they’ve moved up from other parts and think they’re big boys now that they live in Dublin. Like us.

MC: Except we live in Malta

BB: Portugal

MC: Mortugal

BB: How do you spell Portugal anyway?

MC: You can change the word c**t to silly boy if you want to

BB: Sure students are adults, they say c**t all the time, sure they’ve exams

Did you actually go over Cork in a hot air balloon and call it a fool?

MC: Yeah we did

BB: Then we flew over Laois in a helicopter and pissed on it

Do you have any plans to go flying again?

BB: I’d like to do something in a Zeppelin

MC: That rocket to the sun, I’d like to get into that

BB: That’d be the last journey though, the rocket into the sun, but I want to get the Zeppelin over Scandinavia or something and spit on it

MC: I was in Scandinavia once, and I drank a lot of grape juice and cant remember getting to bed, that’s true

BB: That’s a fact

MC: Quote me that – that can be the headline. That’s the only bit of truth to come out of my mouth all day

Which one of you is doing the Masters in Psychology?

BB: That’s a lie the Daily Mail put out

MC: F*** that, that’s me.  I just go around asking people how they are and then saying “talk to the hand.” That’s medicine because they go away then and they’ll actually express how they feel to your hand if you draw a face on it

BB: Googly eyes. If you get a PHD you can put googly eyes on your hand

MC: How do you feel? Talk to the hand. How do you really feel? Would you like a cuddle?

Entertainment.ie named you the Best Irish Act last year.

BB: We ARE entertainment.ie

MC: Yeah our mothers run it

You beat The Script.

MC: Really? They’re sound boys. We beat the shit out of them up in RTE as well

BB: I threw a glass milk bottle at the singer Danny’s head

MC: He’s a very handsome boy

BB: He is, he’s gorgeous

MC: He’d get f****d wouldn’t he?

BB: And loads of presents from Santa

How did speaking to the Trinity Philosophical Society go?

MC: We told everyone to chill out for 5 minutes

BB: Told them to chill out and they started asking us questions so we told them all to go out and get some fresh air

MC: Then I robbed a load of raspberry flavoured slush puppy, still have it in the fridge at home, it was disgusting

BB: We signed a book which has the name of Jonathan Swift in it

MC: And we drew a picture, we’ll be forgotten, our illustration will not

Image by Adele O Byrne

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