ManTalk: Sexual healing

Everyone is always saying use protection when you’re having sex. Everyone. Always. But is it that important? Maybe you don’t trust having the equivalent of a party balloon suction cupping your most valuable area or maybe you just don’t like how it feels. What’s the worst that could happen?

Sure, safe sex is a two-way street. Is the onus of blame not on both parties involved? You might think if your partner is taking the pill, you don’t need to cling film your party piece. The scariest thing that could happen is you have to get an STI test (imagine having a giant cotton bud put in an orifice that’s marked ‘exit only’). And sure, you may have a small bit of blood in your wee for a while after but if the test comes back clear, feel free to continue rocking out with your phallus out. Plus, gonorrhea can be cured with a few tablets from the pharmacy. Could it get worse?

Unplanned pregnancy. They don’t go away (under current laws).

Imagine you are going to a different country. You would get all of your vaccinations, learn a little about the place you are going and when you get there, you would take precautions and be extra safe until you get used to your new surroundings. Does the same not apply to a new sexual partner? Would you not take extra precautions until you get the lay of the land? Maybe know a little history of where you are visiting? Possibly talk to people who have been there before? (I wouldn’t go for that last step, it’s weird.)

Irish people have this strange way of talking about sex. It’s easy to talk about the people you have had sex with. It’s easy to talk to your friends about sex. But actually talking to the person you are having sex with is a bit more difficult. Try having a little DMC with your partner about sex. Not just about protection (which is very important) but also about the sex that you are having. For a lot of guys, sex is a race to the finish with no thought given to whether or not the other person is having a good time. Give jackhammering a little break and ask if there is anything they would like or even if they are comfortable. It takes two to tango.

Chris Kennedy

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