Starting college as a fresh 18-year-old, being thrown straight out of the most stressful exams of your adolescence life can be very daunting. Everyone tells you how life is flying by and that you’re “really grown up now”, (trust me this was my least favourite thing to hear). You get older, you make new friends and the people you grow up with aren’t the ones you see every day.
Going into college, I was so excited to meet new people and just be an independent teenager. A big thing that I learnt was people need boundaries. Communication is essential when it comes to making friends. Something you’re comfortable discussing might not always be something someone else wants to discuss.
Maintaining childhood friendships can also become difficult when starting a new chapter. The secondary school friendships you’ve formed over the years can still be kept alive while making new ones. Understanding how your friends feel about change can influence how you stay in touch. They might want to see you every second day and you might only have time to see them once a week. Remind them that you still enjoy their company and suggest exciting activities you can both do together or in a group with new/old friends. Friendships can be a balancing act and if some of them drift away that’s also ok! Naturally, people can drift apart. As we get older, weekends out together can become catch ups once a month. Keeping old friendships shouldn’t take away from making new ones!
Your first roommate is a big thing, and getting along with them might be essential for you. Make sure that you have an open conversation about expectations. Cleanliness, visitors and shared responsibilities all need to be brought up. If you have something you feel strongly about, make sure to explain why you do. If tensions start to run high and you don’t want something minor to blow up to something major, have a strategy for handling conflict. Value having your own time in your own space and respect the other person’s privacy.
College is an open door for exploring your sexuality and connections more freely. Some may be on campus and it’s important to keep neighbours in mind. Your space is for you and whoever you decide to share it with. But not everyone wants to hear about it (or experience it in the next room over). A big piece of advice: keep it respectful. And don’t let late night visits keep other people up. If a room is shared, you or your roommate could feel like a relationship is imposing. Clear lines of communication can help when both people are new to sharing a room.
An hour long commute, 3 hour train journey to see family or even a significant other going to college abroad can be difficult and adjusting to long distance can take time. I’ve seen it myself. Prioritising communication is a vital role in feeling comfortable in your relationship. Scheduling face time can mean a lot to either party and catching up about your new daily routine can feel comforting. Like any relationship, long distance requires trust. Give each other space to grow and enjoy your new life; making friends, joining clubs/societies without the constant checking in or worrying. Visiting each other when possible should be part of your schedule. Don’t over-commit to travel as it can tire both people out. They have new friends and college work to get back to! Set goals together and have something to look forward to. Discuss how you’ll spend your summer break. If talking about the future becomes an uncomfortable conversation, I’ve bad news for you…..
All in all, college can be a rocky yet joyful experience. Like everything it has its ups and downs. But just enjoy it as much as you can! These are some of the best, most beautiful days of your life!