Haters Gonna Hate? The top 10 things you just can’t dislike

It’s a free country and we are all absolutely entitled to be our own person, sure. However, there are just a certain few things nobody should ever mention disliking for fear of losing an eye or a toe or something else gruesome. Things you are permitted to hate (as decreed by me and not the general public) include but are not exclusive or limited to Taylor Swift, Katie Price and gherkins. Without further ado, here’s our list of top ten things you’re not allowed to hate, not to be confused with things you are allowed to hate or things we love to hate.

1. Tea: the national beverage, treasure and cherished extra family member of every household in this country. A huge proportion of ESB bills can be attributed to constant boiling of kettles and a college house can go into mourning when the end of a box of teabags is nigh. Dislike at your own peril, it might just be best to develop a taste for it to avoid the incessant “you don’t drink tea?” judgemental glares.

2. Friends: No not your own friends, although one would hope that you don’t want to hate them anyway, but “Friends”, the most widely accepted and well liked TV show of our generation. Where would we be without Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Joey and Phoebe eh? We’d probably have a lot more college work done for starters. We’d also probably not feel so old. It recently came to light that was it real life, this year Monica & Chandler’s twins would be nine-years-old, Phoebe’s triplets 14, Ben would be 18 and Emma would be 11. Next year will also mark a whole ten years since the final episode aired in America. Let’s all pause for a cry about how we still can’t get over that it’s not around anymore and how there is very little possibility of a movie.

3. Cats: Mainly included in this list to make sure Valerie leaves her stamp all over her final issue, our feline friends have taken over the internet world in recent times. One can’t be sure of how they feel about having themselves plastered all over memes but it has definitely satisfied the crazy cat ladies of our age bracket.

4. Beyoncé: Queen of Everything. Don’t pretend like we all don’t mouth the words to Love on Top as if we even had a chance. If I was allowed I could go on for years about this obsession, Mrs. Carter can do no wrong. She is too fierce to hate, it is just forbidden.

5. Chocolate: If you don’t like chocolate, you’re clearly not human. You’re most definitely not human if you were able to resist that 3 Easter eggs for a mere €4.79 offer in Eurospar on the Ballymun Road for the past few weeks. Plus we’re Irish, we have to love Cadburys, otherwise Michael D will be looking for your passport back.

6. Ant and Dec: It’s much too hard to resist these Newcastle chaps and let’s face it; they are much more appealing to the eyes and ears than that Geordie Shore crew. The recent return of Saturday Night Takeaway has given way to a whole new set of celebrity pranks and I would urge you all to watch where they have absolute control over Louis Walsh and some unbeknownst interior decorators sent to his house. Also, no hating on Louis, he is one of Flux’s favourite gas people.

7. Instagram: I don’t care what anyone says, Instagram is a godsend. It may not be completely real but I am all for layering copious filters over this face of mine to improve its appearance. A few rules must always be followed. Too many foodstagrams and you’re out, eat the blasted meal before it’s freezing and make sure to keep your ratio of selfies in relation to standard Instagram fodder at a regular and moderate level. Spread them out folks, you don’t want to come across too vain, no matter how good those filters make your face look.

8. The word gas: gas, gas, gas, gas, gas, gas, gas. The perfect word to encapsulate all manner of situations. “My Coppers stamp is still lurking on my hand since Wednesday. It’s now Saturday.” – gas. Also wash your hands.

9. That woeful pop music they play in nightclubs: Speaking of Coppers…but seriously, lighten up. I’ll be the first to hold my hands up and say I will listen to the xx and Frank Ocean for days on end but there is absolutely no shame in enjoying the generic stuff too. It’s called fun.

10. Christmas: We had a nice little festive interlude this week with that deluge of snow, which made us all pine for the most wonderful time of the year. Except for Scrooges. Hating Christmas is just not allowed. Number one it’s about having the lols at home with your favourite people and number two it’s about food and drink, and presents and songs and movies, and more food. What’s not to love?

Claire Healy

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